You are currently browsing the monthly archive for January 2009.

The following is a representation of my feelings regarding the fact that it is Friday, as shown through intrepretative dance:

intrepretative-dance

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As 2009 begins, one can’t help but do a little self-examination while trying to pin-point those New Year’s resolutions that you will surely keep longer this year than last (I broke last year’s resolutions on January 10th, so I’ve got a few more days until I top it). But as I looked inwardly this year, I decided that the biggest problems in my life lie outside myself and instead reside within the public at large–those little daily pet-peeves that irk me to the bone and begin to add up into one big heaping knot on my shoulders–that without, would surely make my personal problems that much easier to deal with. So, after doing a little soul searching this New Years, I present you with the 2009 Top 10 list of Resolutions for the General Public or the 2008 Top 10 list of Pet-Peeves:

socks-and-sandals3

1) Socks worn with sandals (Natch). If you are wearing socks with your sandals because your feet are cold, you are missing the point of sandals and do not deserve to wear them. If you are wearing socks with sandals because you think it looks good, you obviously have never been in a romantic relationship of any kind and never will (and I pity you). If you are wearing BLACK socks with your sandals, you should be deported to Germany where that kind of fashion nonsense is acceptable.

2) Entering an elevator before the current passengers have exited.Seriously, this happened to me this morning and I almost hit the emergency red button on my way out so she would be forced to take the stairs. Were you born in an effing barn? (of course, if you were born in a barn you may not know proper elevator edicate being as there are typically only rickety ladders leading up to hay lofts and what not in barns. So this is maybe not the best insult to use in this case). But seriously now, common courtesy dictates that you let the people exit before you enter. Nay, even the general laws of science dictate that you let the space empty before moving your own body mass into said space! WTF lady?

3) Sublime and their continued success.Now, I didn’t used to have a problem with Sublime. I was in high school at the height of their success, when Brad Nowell died and it was very sad and all that. But the fact that my local radio station continues to play their damn music EVERY single morning peeves me to no end. Why do I have to listen to this music every day? Why can’t they play one song, oh, I don’t know, once every two weeks or so–that way, I can think “Hey its Sublime! Remember the good times?” Instead, I am forced to think “Hey its Sublime. Again. Will these guys ever be not played on the radio?” I am sadden that I am forced to think this.

russell-crowe

4)Russell Crowe. I don’t know why, but I find him unsavory.

5) Texting in a movie theater.Being as it was just the holiday season and I had two, blissful weeks off (thank you Mickey!), I saw a lot of movies. They weren’t particularly good movies, but I paid $10 to see them regardless of their quality and when the texting1blackness of the theater is pierced by the blinding blue light cast from some sidekick a 15 year old is typing on in the front row, it makes the movie all that much worse. And, if the person is right in front of me, I cannot help but try to read what they are typing instead of watching the movie that I paid to see. What’s wrong withme? How have we become a society that cannot stand to sit through a 2 movie without communication with the outside world? And why is this person paying $10 to do something they can do in front of their TV for free? It makes no sense. So people, please do not text during a movie theaters (unless you are seeing a Russell Crowe movie–then text away! )

abc-reporter

Seriously, its like an episode of The Office has come true (remember the one with Dwight and the pervert and Pam’s sketch?). Couldn’t they have had the pretty blonde reporter who is undoubtably sitting next to him announce the rapist search? Cuz, dude, you have so been punk’d.

“Man who donated kidney to wife wants it back in divorce”

What?  What an Indian-giver!!  He is a Bitter Betty if he’s asking for body parts back.  What else will be in the settlement?  A vile of his blood?  A pound of her flesh?  You know when people say, “it was a bloody divorce”–this case is the new definition.

Actually the guy is asking for either the kidney or it’s market value of $1.5 Million (how considerate of him).  Seriously though–$1.5 Million for a kidney!!  Sign me up!  I think I have one I’m not using.

This truly appeared on the front page of CNN.com this morning:

“Women suspected of witchcraft burned alive”

Is it 1693 and nobody told me?  Because I like to stay up on these things.

Article can be found here.

Before I start, you must understand that I don’t frequent Victoria’s Secret–the intricacies of all that satin and lace–while lovely on the skin–lost their charm on me years ago and I now subject my husband to faded fleece pants and my favorite holey sweat shirt from high school, which he calls a “putrid blue color.” Do I know how to turn my man on or what?

Regardless, I need bras and what not and bought one online at Vicki’s about 2 years ago (big mistake–do not buy underwear via the internet). Ever since then, my e-mail box has been bombarded with VS e-mails advertising the hundred thousand sales they apparently have weekly. Well this morning, I open my box and what should I find but an e-mail with the subject line that read verbatim: “New Trend of the Season: Pants! Try them!”pants

Now, I’m no fashion expert, but I don’t think pants can be considered a “trend,” much less in the dead of winter. I understand the ladies over at Victoria’s Secret walk around in nothing but lace and a smile, but for us mere mortals, pants are typically a daily necessity and therefore we do not need to be encouraged to “try them.” Am I wrong here? Maybe this is some new marketing strategy that is sweeping all the major corporations. Maybe tomorrow I’ll walk into a Starbucks and they’ll tell me to try their new “trendy” coffee flavored coffee. Or go to a drug store and be told that in 2009 the new trend is to bath and be encourage to try the magical little bar they call soap. Well, guess what Victoria–I’m not falling for your tricky marketing ways!