So today, as I’m doing my daily pursue of the news wires reading about the Iran elections, depressed stocks, and some metallic mini-dress that Jen Aniston wore to some awards thingy (my interests are very diverse), I come across this teeny little article out of Berlin about a fox who pulled a Sarah Jessica Parker on one of the local rural towns and pillaged them of all of their footwear!  This is a real fox folks – not Megan Fox (which would be a great story in and of itself), not Matthew Fox (sigh. . . I heart him), but an honest to goodness furry little friend of the forest who took it upon himself to transport all the shoes that were left outside overnight into his den.   I love this fox and his wee fashion sense!  He’s even practical as he stole everything from pumps to trainers.  What’s truly impressive is that he took all 100 shoes in one night!!!  That is one diligent fox!  I need him as my wing man at the next Barney’s sample sale!

Okay, have you guys seen the trailer for the new flick My Sister’s Keeper? Because this movie is going to be a tear-jerker.  We’re talkin’ buckets and buckets of liquid lacrimation here.  In fact, I’m getting a little choked up even thinking about it.  When the cancer-ridden daughter (in the awesome strawberry-blond wig!) asks her father “Do I look pretty, Daddy?” and he answers yes with misty eyes–tear–and then she runs whimscally through the curtain of hanging twinkle lights with the “Life is Beautiful” song playing in the background–I mean, come on!  This film is going to rival the cry fest that is Steel Magnolias!  I’ve seen Steel Magnolias at least 789 times (give or take 700) and I cry every time!  Every time Sally Field is in the cemetery and she starts to yell/sob that she was supposed to go first and then she bursts into laughter when dared to punch Weezer–classic cry moment of my teenage years!  I’m sure most of you have no idea what I’m talking about, but trust me, its worthy of a viewing when you need a good long cry (or make your boyfriend watch it with you to prove he’s whipped–its good for that too).

I went off track a little there–back to My Sister’s Keeper.  I have one main concern with what looks to be an otherwise kick-ass movie–what the heck is Cameron Diaz doing playing the mom?  And not the whoreish mom who got knocked up when she was 16 and now has a 20 year old with a drug problem (you know, the kind whose bra is always showing through their tank top and whose mascara is smeared for no apparent reason)–this is the only scenario in which I can image Ms Diaz playing a giver of life.  In this film, she is the mom of what looks to be about 4 children–one of which is the aforementioned cancer-stricken teenager.  I have my doubts about this performance.  Not that she is the worst actress out there–she’s okay when it comes to bubbly, tom-boyish characters–but the mother of a sick child, is. . . you know. . . a stretch for her.  Its good to see her challenging herself within her given “craft,” but she’s no Sally Field is all I’m saying. 

Maybe she was cast because she always looks like a mess lately.  If you have 4 children and one of them is terminally ill, there’s no doubt you will be stick thin, have a bad dye job and no time to comb your hair.  Have you noticed the mess that is Cameron lately, or is it just me?  I mean check out her past two Oscar looks:

Cameron Diaz Oscars 2Cameron Diaz Oscars 1A mess, right?  From far away, the looks are okay, but up-close they are all wrong (she’s a Monet!  Look at that–a Clueless reference!).  Check out the wrinkly dresses!  And the messy hair!  This is the Oscars Cameron!  Maybe the casting directors took one look at these photos and thought–yep, a stressed out mom of 4 would look exactly like this on Oscar night.  Sign her up!   

Depite this dubious casting choice, I’m all for My Sister’s Keeper!  Who wants to cry with me?

I share this man’s mute excitement in the glorious joy of Friday:

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Have a great weekend, all!

This is a photographic representation of my thrilledness in today’s Fridayness:

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He looks moderately deranged as well, I’m afraid, but that’s also appropriate.

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In a related story, I just read an article called “Alliteration: Friend or Foe?  10 Common Mistakes to Avoid in Writing.

The following is a representation of my feelings regarding the fact that it is Friday, as shown through intrepretative dance:

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As 2009 begins, one can’t help but do a little self-examination while trying to pin-point those New Year’s resolutions that you will surely keep longer this year than last (I broke last year’s resolutions on January 10th, so I’ve got a few more days until I top it). But as I looked inwardly this year, I decided that the biggest problems in my life lie outside myself and instead reside within the public at large–those little daily pet-peeves that irk me to the bone and begin to add up into one big heaping knot on my shoulders–that without, would surely make my personal problems that much easier to deal with. So, after doing a little soul searching this New Years, I present you with the 2009 Top 10 list of Resolutions for the General Public or the 2008 Top 10 list of Pet-Peeves:

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1) Socks worn with sandals (Natch). If you are wearing socks with your sandals because your feet are cold, you are missing the point of sandals and do not deserve to wear them. If you are wearing socks with sandals because you think it looks good, you obviously have never been in a romantic relationship of any kind and never will (and I pity you). If you are wearing BLACK socks with your sandals, you should be deported to Germany where that kind of fashion nonsense is acceptable.

2) Entering an elevator before the current passengers have exited.Seriously, this happened to me this morning and I almost hit the emergency red button on my way out so she would be forced to take the stairs. Were you born in an effing barn? (of course, if you were born in a barn you may not know proper elevator edicate being as there are typically only rickety ladders leading up to hay lofts and what not in barns. So this is maybe not the best insult to use in this case). But seriously now, common courtesy dictates that you let the people exit before you enter. Nay, even the general laws of science dictate that you let the space empty before moving your own body mass into said space! WTF lady?

3) Sublime and their continued success.Now, I didn’t used to have a problem with Sublime. I was in high school at the height of their success, when Brad Nowell died and it was very sad and all that. But the fact that my local radio station continues to play their damn music EVERY single morning peeves me to no end. Why do I have to listen to this music every day? Why can’t they play one song, oh, I don’t know, once every two weeks or so–that way, I can think “Hey its Sublime! Remember the good times?” Instead, I am forced to think “Hey its Sublime. Again. Will these guys ever be not played on the radio?” I am sadden that I am forced to think this.

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4)Russell Crowe. I don’t know why, but I find him unsavory.

5) Texting in a movie theater.Being as it was just the holiday season and I had two, blissful weeks off (thank you Mickey!), I saw a lot of movies. They weren’t particularly good movies, but I paid $10 to see them regardless of their quality and when the texting1blackness of the theater is pierced by the blinding blue light cast from some sidekick a 15 year old is typing on in the front row, it makes the movie all that much worse. And, if the person is right in front of me, I cannot help but try to read what they are typing instead of watching the movie that I paid to see. What’s wrong withme? How have we become a society that cannot stand to sit through a 2 movie without communication with the outside world? And why is this person paying $10 to do something they can do in front of their TV for free? It makes no sense. So people, please do not text during a movie theaters (unless you are seeing a Russell Crowe movie–then text away! )

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Seriously, its like an episode of The Office has come true (remember the one with Dwight and the pervert and Pam’s sketch?). Couldn’t they have had the pretty blonde reporter who is undoubtably sitting next to him announce the rapist search? Cuz, dude, you have so been punk’d.

“Man who donated kidney to wife wants it back in divorce”

What?  What an Indian-giver!!  He is a Bitter Betty if he’s asking for body parts back.  What else will be in the settlement?  A vile of his blood?  A pound of her flesh?  You know when people say, “it was a bloody divorce”–this case is the new definition.

Actually the guy is asking for either the kidney or it’s market value of $1.5 Million (how considerate of him).  Seriously though–$1.5 Million for a kidney!!  Sign me up!  I think I have one I’m not using.

This truly appeared on the front page of CNN.com this morning:

“Women suspected of witchcraft burned alive”

Is it 1693 and nobody told me?  Because I like to stay up on these things.

Article can be found here.