Chicken Parts

CNN headline of the week:

Fewer bones, more breasts at Fashion Week

Did KFC cater fashion week this year? Wow, the fashion industry is getting serious about wanting shapelier models!

But for serious, this article discusses the porkers who were walking down the runways this year at the famous Bryant Park Fashion Week who apparently were (gasp!) size 2 and 4!! (Cover face in horror and anticipate downward spiral of fashion industry). Um, the title clearly mentions “breasts,” and I somehow doubt that a size 2 model has any protruding flesh in the chest region (or any region for that matter). They’re trying to trick us into believing that real women can wear these clothes and I’m not falling for it (use indignant tone while pointing finger angrily in general direction of New York).

Avril Graham, executive fashion and beauty editor at Harper’s Bazaar, made this astounding observation, probably while wearing a size 2 Prada dress herself that hangs loosely on her frame: “We’re obviously going through a season of a less cookie-cutter look.” Please see the following photograph where line of stick-thin models display strikingly similar body types and hair-dos:

(Although, I do want to know whose line this is because its super cute!) You are absolutely correct Avril, my dear– no cookie cutters in sight! Look at the varying shades of hair color! And that model in the long red dress is at least 0.5 lbs heavier than the model in front of her. Bravo, Mercedes Benz Presents New York Fashion Week! You are doing wonders for the self-esteem of millions of American women by showcasing models that have only skipped all meals in the last two months instead of the last two years! I feel so good about these “shapelier” models that I will only attempt to starve myself for the next week until I completely forget about all things Oscar de la Renta and Victoria Beckham’s boney ass in the funny haircut isn’t plastered across every website I visit (or until I pass out. . . or see a candy bar, which ever is first). Next year, KFC should totally cater the event so the headlines can read “Fewer bones, more large, protruding guts at Fashion week.” How much would that rock?