Vampires

So here’s the deal: lately I have found myself steeped in a lot of vampire lore.  Actually, that makes it sound way more academic than it is so let’s be honest: I’m reading Twilight while watching Buffy Season Two (mind you, this is all while I’m supposed to be doing homework so I can one day escape the mind-numbing boredom of an 8-5 desk job where I waste away under fluorescent lights until there’s no longer any difference between my skin tone and that of the pasty, ash-colored walls I labor beside, but I digress).

The problem with my spending so much time watching/reading vampire-related pulp is that I start to imagine myself as a character in said dramas.  Which wouldn’t be so bad if I imagined myself as, say, Buffy, which would be rad because then I would be a superhero and have an excellent wit (seriously, have you noticed how many puns and quips are inserted into that show?  Like one every 78 seconds.  Example:  Buffy: “Giles lived for school. He’s actually still bitter that there are only twelve grades. He probably sat in math class thinking, ‘There should be more math. This could be mathier.'”). But no.  Inevitably when I’m coming home after dark, walking up to my shadowy front door, I think to myself “If I were on Buffy right now, I’d totally be getting attacked by some rogue vampire/demon/bounty hunter/Spike-if-I’m-super-lucky” and then get all panicky and shove the key into the lock with undo force trying to get inside because once I’m inside then the house-protection or whatever it is kicks in and the vamps can’t come in unless I invite them (unless we’re talking aboutTwilight vampires because apparently Edward spent every night creepily stalking/watching Bella sleep in her room so that magic doesn’t apply to those vampires).

Totally normal, right?